Small & Big

“For one of my son’s plays he had to write up a little bio. His bio says he's been acting since he was five. He's nine. No way, I say. He insists. He has been in a lot of plays. He was the lead in ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ They changed it to ‘Sleeping Handsome.’” —Anonymous

“Like many girls, our oldest was a piece of cake. She woke one morning a few months before her third birthday and declared that she was going to wear 'big girl underwear.' Just like that, she was done. Our boys, however, paid us back with interest. Both of them had to be dragged into the bathroom and cajoled with promises of presents and special treats. Our middle boy would only sit on the potty if he could listen to '70s-era country music. To this day, every time 'Rhinestone Cowboy' comes on the car radio, I involuntarily check the back seat.” —C.J. Kaplan

“A typical lactating Holstein produces about 150 pounds of waste—by weight, about two-thirds wet feces, one-third urine—each day.” Henry Fountain, New York Times