Official Rules Of Dog Football

1. Each player acts as their own team; i.e. three players equals three teams.
2. Ball gnawing is encouraged.
3. Football must be transported by mouth ONLY. Transportation of ball by mouth with other players attached is permitted, so long as others are also attached, by mouth, to ball.
4. Should ball roll into a hole, anything goes; i.e., head bonkings.
5. If a player stands upon football, no other player may touch it EVER OR ELSE.
6. Any player wearing a leash may clothesline all players, including self.
7. Players signal a Personal Time Out by laying down and end it by getting up. Number of Time Outs is limited to infinite.
8. Players may draft sticks into play, like in pinball where extra balls come on the field for no reason.
9. Game ends when players notice a squirrel or bird and run off.