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Showing posts from October, 2006

A Nice Four Letter Word

Nice. What do you think about niceness? Can a person learn to be nice? You can find out by taking the NiceQ test ( go to it at powerofnice.com ). It's part of a book promotion for The Power of Nice . The short survey is informative and, well, nice.

Cloned At Birth? Not Stephen Colbert And My Cat

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      In efforts to clear up any confusion that may or may not have been caused by my previous post , I hereby announce that despite numerous twin-ship similarities, Mr. Stephen Colbert and my hairless Sphynx cat are not, in fact, clones. Neither are they conjoined Siamese cat brothers. Although differences are subtle, here is how my cat is unlike Mr. Stephen Colbert: Poops in litterbox and, in summertime, on basement floor Political party: Independent, and doesn’t vote Father of more than 100, prior to having his vintage capped Refuses speaking engagements Total fingers and toes: 18 Uneducated and unemployed lay-about, survives on handouts Clothing-optional lifestyle English not his first language Bald, except where it counts (nose, betwixt toes) Daily tongue bath leaves little time or inkling to leave home That flag shredding incident Enjoys chasing tail (his own) Fear of bald eagles, although eaglets are delicious Stephen’s handl...

Can You Spot A Genuine Smile?

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” —Phyllis Diller Sometimes a smile is not a smile, it turns out. According to scientists, reading a smile correctly is difficult for us humans. Hah hah ha! Unless you're a smile researcher with a magical bag of glittery equations and fancy software, that is. The BBC offers a fun survey that'll test your ability to tell a real smile from a fake one. They use real video of people smiling. Or not. I was able to correctly identify only 14 out of 20. My ability seemed to improve along the way as I got only one wrong in the end half. We can always improve and that's cause for a real smile. Take the test yourself at www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles .

Limericks

Pet Peeve Our meetings have a stunning hail when Jack sets to clipping his nail. One lands square in my eye as I painfully cry, "Let's vote on putting Jack in jail." This one got an honorable mention on HumorPower blog ( go there ) Want to make your own limerick? You can probably do better than mine. See HumorPower.com ( go there ). Send me your limerick gem by clicking Replies below and I'll post it with link to your blog. The clean limericks anyway. Be sure to include your URL.

The S.S. Venezia

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Sometimes what’s real is surreal. Especially in Venice, island of chiseled stone and watery sidewalks, where even the dog doodoo is artistic, set there just so. Every word you speak tells you you’re on center stage, starring in the story of your life. These pictures were taken atop Basilica di San Marco in September 2006, where we all quietly pause for a cruise ship’s passing in the light.

Reel

Reel it in, the belonging, the being, the yearning for every moment farther and nearer than the reach of two steady arms.

So Today's Your Birthday

Hooray! It's your special day, the anniversary of your birth. Celebrate this special event and let it take many forms: cake, ice cream, candles, gifts, the dog vomiting on your toes. These are all possible if you play your cards right. (Keep the dog away from the cake, ice cream, candles, gifts, and toes.) Don't forget to thank Mom! Say, I like you. And not just because we share something big in common, us having both been born. I have a present for you, a thoughtful sentiment that comes by way of a greeting card from a grocery store in the 1970s, from the frozen meat aisle. (Products were displayed differently back then.) Here it is. Ready? “Birthday's are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.” So true, isn't it? Hee hee! It's wonderful to know how long you've been here and to contemplate how your life has affected others. How much you've helped others and learned from them. How much they've helped you and learned from you. Sure...

You Are No Longer A Baby Elephant

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They say that an elephant learns her place in the world, her limitations, while young. A heavy metal chain is attached to her hind leg so that she does not wander away. Not yet strong enough to break free, the young elephant finds that she can move only as far as the length of chain allows. Eventually, she’ll grow tired of pulling at the chain and stop trying altogether. Years from now, even a rope tied round her thick strong leg is enough to hold her. The mature elephant has learned the lesson well: it is not possible to break free. Her world is the length of a chain. Through trials, separations, ill words, or ill treatment, your own childhood may have taught you to behave as the hobbled elephant. You may even have come to believe that everything you have endured is everything you are. You have become your limitations. You have learned the lesson well. We have come to tell you that your fears and doubts, even your experiences, are not you. The chain around you is a chain...