Americans don’t say the word toilet , thinking it too descriptive. Instead we say stuff like “use the facilities” or “visit the ladies’ room” or “see a man about a horse.” When I tell you I need to visit the bathroom and I go into the room with the toilet and no bathtub, I’ve successfully tricked you for you have no idea I’m going in there to use the toilet, no matter how much flushing you hear. But that’s not the point. The thing I wanted to show you is what I encountered on vacation in Arizona or Nevada, I forget which, is this — this vague threat of a sign here: This sign was meant to be read and learned from while seated upon the toilet, and it seemed to me at the time and even now that it’s a warning that, any moment, precocious children will scramble in, elbow me aside, and show how it’s done via a dramatic three-act play. This little feller, clearly the Star, is he supposed to be me ? Because I’m not currently smiling. Where are his pants? Did he roll them into ankle b
