Cloned At Birth? Not Stephen Colbert And My Cat

     
In efforts to clear up any confusion that may or may not have been caused by my previous post, I hereby announce that despite numerous twin-ship similarities, Mr. Stephen Colbert and my hairless Sphynx cat are not, in fact, clones. Neither are they conjoined Siamese cat brothers.

Although differences are subtle, here is how my cat is unlike Mr. Stephen Colbert:

• Poops in litterbox and, in summertime, on basement floor
• Political party: Independent, and doesn’t vote
• Father of more than 100, prior to having his vintage capped
• Refuses speaking engagements
• Total fingers and toes: 18
• Uneducated and unemployed lay-about, survives on handouts
• Clothing-optional lifestyle
• English not his first language
• Bald, except where it counts (nose, betwixt toes)
• Daily tongue bath leaves little time or inkling to leave home
• That flag shredding incident
• Enjoys chasing tail (his own)
• Fear of bald eagles, although eaglets are delicious

Stephen’s handlers may have more differences to add (or refute) but they have been curiously silent on the matter.

Image of Mr. Colbert (he's the one wearing glasses) from ComedyCentral. Photos not to scale.