You're On My Mind, For $1,000

It has not escaped me that I have a somewhat profuse forehead. Or rather, a fivehead.



The “high forehead” was thought to be much attractive in the 15th through 16th centuries, when wealthy gentleladies plucked their way to highbrowed beauty. Admirers took note of the greater brainpan and refined intelligence. (“My, my. Look at thee fo’ead on that one. Hubba hubba.”) Alas, today we no longer live in the Middle Ages, those pox-filled days of easy beauty. Those of us left behind, showing proof of high intelligence as we do, need to make do. So....

One day, a dame with a dome has a bright idea: Advertising Revenue.



Then an even better, more refined idea:



But a genius idea needs geniuses to buy into it. That’s where you come in. For example, say you’re an overpaid advertising executive. You’re gearing up to promote a dentist, electronics giant, and/or hemorrhoid creme. Or household goods and Sea-Monkeys. I don’t need to explain to you the power of the visual medium. So, without further ado...



And... bam!



A good advertiser recognizes a successful cross-marketing brand partnership when they see one. I know you see it! What you have here is a surefire means of creating viral marketing (so called because it makes people sick). That creates Word Of Mouth, three of the most precious words to an ad exec’s ear besides Three Martini Lunch. This is how trends originate. Soon, the popular crowd, stars and rich folk, are buying your product, service, or mascot. Then the followers, the little people, the consumers. And that’s why they call them consumers: they eat this stuff up, then return for seconds. Thirds. Fourths. Fifths. Need I go on?

Now before we get carried away, know that what you’ve seen so far are only quick concepts. Zippy, off-the-cuff examples. Throw-aways. Nice though, huh? On the final solution you will see class. Sophistication. Refinement. There’s a little thing I call “white space”—a wee space around elements, a little air. I employ white space so that the eye has room to wander around, to lose itself, to take a relaxing holiday, perhaps a weekend in the country on its way to reading the message in the advertisement. This makes the face feel rich. And the brain thinks it can afford both dental work and Sea-Monkeys. Let’s also reduce the ads to two per run. Maintain a stance on exclusivity. I’ll further help by increasing the price to $1,500.

So now—finally—here we have a fully rendered mock-up:



The piece speaks for itself! I’ll give you a moment of quiet alone-time with it to decide how many you want. Here’s a couple of my business cards. I also do catering on the side. My right side.