Suggested Read: Gaven de Becker
The book is not an easy one to read. The subject is real, the examples are deeply difficult, but the truth in it will, as they say, set you free. You'll find yourself growing stronger and stronger with each chapter. On the very last page, at the very last period, you'll close the book and realize that you are a completely different person than the one who began it.
The book is The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It's a book I read in 1994 only because my friend Michele gave me her copy. It's a book title, cover, and topic I would normally stay far from. But my friend is the calm and well-grounded type and had never before recommended a book to me. The offer seemed helpful, I gave it a chance, and it was.
Although more than a decade has passed since I read it, some very concrete examples remain with me, including:
1) You have amazing instincts when it comes to danger. Does a stranger say "I promise" in order to get you to do something? This inappropriate use of the phrase is an immediate trigger that something is wrong. Gavin will show you what your instincts are, why they are, and how they help.
2) There is a difference between fear that is the result of something likely and fear that is not. For instance, people who keep guns at home due to fear of break-ins are actually more likely to see family members shot. And people are less likely to fear more probable risks, such as automobiles and being obese.
3) Panic comes only when you've got time to think. Panic happens seconds, hours, or days later, but not during the moment of the incident itself, when you're instead powered by adrenaline, instinct, and intuition.
4) If you're a victim of physical violence, don't blame yourself. In some of the examples in the book, it's only because of the victim's actions that she survived at all. Instead, thank yourself for overcoming the situation and think about how you did it.
The book is filled with similarly compelling information, useful for any mature individual. So, if you're in mind to listen to a suggestion today—in what I hope is a calm and well-grounded way—I propose that you consider reading Gavin de Becker's powerful book, The Gift of Fear. And then pass it along to someone else.
You can find a book or audio copy of "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker at Amazon or at your local library.
The book is The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. It's a book I read in 1994 only because my friend Michele gave me her copy. It's a book title, cover, and topic I would normally stay far from. But my friend is the calm and well-grounded type and had never before recommended a book to me. The offer seemed helpful, I gave it a chance, and it was.
Although more than a decade has passed since I read it, some very concrete examples remain with me, including:
1) You have amazing instincts when it comes to danger. Does a stranger say "I promise" in order to get you to do something? This inappropriate use of the phrase is an immediate trigger that something is wrong. Gavin will show you what your instincts are, why they are, and how they help.
2) There is a difference between fear that is the result of something likely and fear that is not. For instance, people who keep guns at home due to fear of break-ins are actually more likely to see family members shot. And people are less likely to fear more probable risks, such as automobiles and being obese.
3) Panic comes only when you've got time to think. Panic happens seconds, hours, or days later, but not during the moment of the incident itself, when you're instead powered by adrenaline, instinct, and intuition.
4) If you're a victim of physical violence, don't blame yourself. In some of the examples in the book, it's only because of the victim's actions that she survived at all. Instead, thank yourself for overcoming the situation and think about how you did it.
The book is filled with similarly compelling information, useful for any mature individual. So, if you're in mind to listen to a suggestion today—in what I hope is a calm and well-grounded way—I propose that you consider reading Gavin de Becker's powerful book, The Gift of Fear. And then pass it along to someone else.
You can find a book or audio copy of "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker at Amazon or at your local library.
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