My Famous Bus Driver

So I have this dream last night. Is it sexy? Can I fly to Jupiter by stretching out my arms? Are my fingernails talking to me? Am I sitting on a public toilet eating artisanal cheeses? Nope. It’s simply the end of the school year and I’ve come to say goodbye to my bus driver. There’s Stephen Colbert, sitting in the driver’s seat. He lets me on the bus and I say usual things like, “Thanks, getting to school this year has been really fun.” I ask if he’s planning to be a school bus driver next year. “No,” he says. “No, I’ll be too busy.” We chuckle. It’s absurd that he’s been driving a bus this year, getting to work at a crazy 6 am, driving screaming kids around until 3:30 pm, then flying to New York City to tape his show. I figure he took the gig as something to fall back on in case The Colbert Report didn’t work out. Evidently, the show’s doing okay.