Whine, And I Scream

November's contest from the Humor Power blog was fun (go there). The assignment was to invent wine and ice cream flavors. Here are mine, although I've since tweaked them a tad. Don't ask me why the horse references.

WINE
Chardonneigh - A young wine with delightful golden overtones, made daily by horses. Stable aromas of hay, fresh grass, and leather. Best enjoyed warm.

ICE CREAM
Snow Flakes - Melts in your mouth, and in your hand. This chilly white treat is free from calories, nuts, wheat gluten, carbs, and flavor. Made the old-fashioned way, by a nimbostratus cloud.

Apple Crisp - An autumnal treat of rocky road ice cream infused with fresh, toasty warm road apples. Popular at parades.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You're On My Mind, For $1,000

Image
It has not escaped me that I have a somewhat profuse forehead. Or rather, a fivehead. The “high forehead” was thought to be much attractive in the 15th through 16th centuries, when wealthy gentleladies plucked their way to highbrowed beauty. Admirers took note of the greater brainpan and refined intelligence. (“My, my. Look at thee fo’ead on that one. Hubba hubba.”) Alas, today we no longer live in the Middle Ages, those pox-filled days of easy beauty. Those of us left behind, showing proof of high intelligence as we do, need to make do. So.... One day, a dame with a dome has a bright idea: Advertising Revenue. Then an even better, more refined idea: But a genius idea needs geniuses to buy into it. That’s where you come in. For example, say you’re an overpaid advertising executive. You’re gearing up to promote a dentist, electronics giant, and/or hemorrhoid creme. Or household goods and Sea-Monkeys. I don’t need to explain to you the power of the visual medium. So, without further ado.
Read more

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more