Late Breaking News: Author Of Birthday Quote Discovered
As my three regular readers know, there has been quite a mystery concerning one of Small and Big's favorite quotations. The mystery was discussed indepthly in an earlier post, My Joke Collection (#5), which I highly recommend you peruse if only to beef up your reading skills, which are sorely lacking on this planet, judging from the number of people who don't read this blog.
"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live." Who authored that pithy birthday comment? Who could solve this mystery and bring closure to the matter? I'm no investigative journalist but at one point I nearly tried sleuthing on Google, but got quickly sidetracked by the infinite words one can type into it: "jello farm", "ribald tap dancing", "crabs and blue blood", "ear puppet", "Thumb Wars" (go there), and "why do my pinky toes point out like that?"
Abracadabra! Not one hour ago the answer found me. I was gathering quotations for a business client and came across what appears to be the actual quote (employment does have benefits):
Birthday's are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.
—Larry Lorenzoni
Unfortunately—and there's a big bummer coming up—I did look Larry up on Google. He's a Catholic priest named Father Lorenzoni and was embroiled in that ungodly Catholic Church event where children were being knowingly abused, for years. Now, who am I to judge whether he's guilty or not, but I am not comfortable sending him the 55 cents I owe. I hereby retract the offer, hoping that it does not add to the turmoil.
Jeepers, who knew?
If it's your birthday today I hope you didn't read this. If it is and you did you deserve lighter fare. Read my previous post, So Today's Your Birthday. Ignore the part in paragraph four.
"Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live." Who authored that pithy birthday comment? Who could solve this mystery and bring closure to the matter? I'm no investigative journalist but at one point I nearly tried sleuthing on Google, but got quickly sidetracked by the infinite words one can type into it: "jello farm", "ribald tap dancing", "crabs and blue blood", "ear puppet", "Thumb Wars" (go there), and "why do my pinky toes point out like that?"
Abracadabra! Not one hour ago the answer found me. I was gathering quotations for a business client and came across what appears to be the actual quote (employment does have benefits):
Birthday's are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.
—Larry Lorenzoni
Unfortunately—and there's a big bummer coming up—I did look Larry up on Google. He's a Catholic priest named Father Lorenzoni and was embroiled in that ungodly Catholic Church event where children were being knowingly abused, for years. Now, who am I to judge whether he's guilty or not, but I am not comfortable sending him the 55 cents I owe. I hereby retract the offer, hoping that it does not add to the turmoil.
Jeepers, who knew?
If it's your birthday today I hope you didn't read this. If it is and you did you deserve lighter fare. Read my previous post, So Today's Your Birthday. Ignore the part in paragraph four.
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