Scientists Discover My Sleeping Pose

According to my highly scientific enounter with a multiple choice questionnaire, I sleep in the esteemed Sleepbelt position. Safety first!

It's curious how they know so much about me, but that's science for you. Here I am, going through life knowing only what goes on when I fall asleep and when I wake up. Now, thanks to what must certainly be years of research by devoted Sleep Researchers carefuly analyzing me with rulers, writing instruments, and calculators as I sleep, I know what goes on the the middle there. Apparently, it has something to do with a restraining system that keeps me safely tucked in at night. Nevermore shall I concern myself with worries of falling out of bed and onto my dog, who will bite me.

However, in the drawing, which person am I? The person who's more of a person or the person who's more of a belt? Am I a woman or a man? Am I wearing pants or shorts? Does this couple symbolize my two halves? Or do they represent the passage of time—one is me now, the other is my future self, destined to become more manly with age? (Or more womanly?) Also, why do they make a letter "T"?

Scientists, when you think I'm ready for some answers you know where to find me. You there, Dear Reader, you can find your own pose at www.evany.com/sleeptest. Go ahead, it'll do you good to know.