Plumbing The Depths Of Humor

Humor is everywhere—even in your toilet plumbing. Especially there. Case in point: Go down to your basement and grab Black & Deckers’ Complete Guide to Home Plumbing, the 3rd edition. It’s okay, we’ll wait. Lah dee dah. Humm dee dum dee—Back already? Okay, now read the joke on page 132.

“What do you get if you cross a toilet with a food disposer?”

If you think the answer is “Ummm, sick?” you’d be wrong. Read on.

“It may not be the most pleasant combination to consider, but the answer is a macerating toilet.”

Macerating toilet!

“Macerate,” you ask, “as in ‘to soak fruit or other food in liquid in order to soften and flavor it with the liquid’?”

Sure! I guess. Keep reading.

“Based on the grinder-and-pump unit that is installed next to or behind the toilet, a macerating toilet grinds waste finely enough that it can be pumped upward through a ¾-inch pipe and evacuated—”

“Okay, that’s enough,” you say.

But wait, there’s more! It says here, “these units can be the difference between a quick weekend project and a major remodeling undertaking.”

“What are we talking about? Masceration of Friday’s, you know, occurs over an entire weekend?”

While I have no professional or undergraduate plumbing experience myself, that certainly sounds both unlikely and disgusting. But I do know that the picture here has nothing to do with mascerating potties. Click it to learn a little about NASA’s space hygiene. (It may not mascerate but it sure nasarates.)