The Second Childhood Is Parenting

"I love having children," Robin Gibb tells the camera. Or maybe it's his brother Barry from the Bee Gees talking—I can't tell the difference. Most of us are much older today and many of us have beards.

"I cannot imagine my life without kids." There's joy in his eyes and earnestness in his mouth. I don't mean to watch the cable show about The Bee Gees on Friday night. Honest. But by golly, when I see real joy on someone I stop to stare. Luckily, staring is why TV was invented. The scene cuts to a family album: smiles, two lovers gettin' married, kiddies, the whole works. Robin/Barry—wait a minute, maybe that's Andy. Maurice? For the sake of finishing my thought before disco comes back strong, let's move on. "Children allow us to have a second childhood," the singer says. "I get to be young again as I live life through their eyes."

He's not the first person I've heard express this sentiment, just the most recent. It got me thinking. I know unparents, childless folk, in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. There's no lack of playing like a kid among them, even the ones who aren't cartoon animators or advertising executives. Heck, immaturity can last a lifetime. I'm inclined to think that all adults were once children. We have memories of being a kid and playing cars in the sandbox, turning cartwheels on cool green grass, telling big boring grumpy people that when I grow up I'm going to eat cookies for dinner, every night, and you won't be able to stop me! As adults we can re-live being children whenever and wherever. Trouble is, kids our age won't play tic-tac-toe, dolls, or what-can-I-stick-up-my-nose? with us.

What every adult is not, is a parent. Those who are experience childhood straight from the other end. No, not that end, but seeing life through the eyes of their own parents. Experiencing stuff like, "Hmm, so this is what it felt like for my Dad when I told him I hated him," and "Yet inexplicably, I have intense love for the little sh*t." You knew this was what the child-parent relationship was like, having been through it once yourself. But now the experiencing is from the other angle—and so at a whole new level. There's a huge difference between thinking what it would be like and experiencing it first-hand. Really, being a parent is being a truly "well rounded individual". Immaturity is immaturity—an extension of a pre-existing condition. The second childhood, the real one, is parenthood.

Glorious Bee Gees photo from www.8notes.com. Wet your thirst? See Wikipedia and Official Bee Gees site.

Comments

Maureen said…
The difference between parents who play with toys (and, er "collect" them) and non-parents who play with / collect toys is simply social acceptance. As parents, we can excuse having second childhoods "thru the eyes of our kids" and it's okay. The non-parents are considered creepy. But don't think for a second that both get equal pleasure from hanging that limited edition action figure on the wall or that 100th beanie baby on the shelving unit.... I should know; been there, done that. But it's okay; I'm a parent!
June 10, 2007
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