The Sideburn Chart

Are you a banker or a professional athlete? Are you a way-out professor or a clergyman? Find out now with the Sideburn Chart! It’s free!

Look below to view the answer you seek.

The Sideburn Chart

What’s the story behind this gem? I’m a sucker for church bake sales and, fortunately for me, every religious institution seems to have a worshiper with a stove. Fruited cookies, fresh bread, chocolate brownies, pecan pies. They often branch out into books too. No, not book burning: the selling of books—raw books. That’s how I came upon this handy-dandy Sideburn Chart (click it to enlarge) in an old 1970s paperback. Had to buy the entire boring book to get at it, so good thing it was in the box with the attractive “LOOK, Free Stuff!” sign. Yes, we at Small and Big devote ourselves to saving special antiquities from fading away forever.

Please note that that is not my chocolate chip cookie stain on the man’s cheek, but rather an honest-to-goodness rosy cheeked cheek. That’s how one looks in black and white; and why color printing was invented in 2002.

Treasure Small and Big, folks. This is a place where you learn stuff. Plus in a few hundred years this whole blog will be an antique. Hopefully it’ll go the way of hippie hairstyle charts.

Here’s to the sideburned rebels who created this chart: the Episcopal Diocese of Northern California.

Comments

High Power Rocketry said…
Please lets exchange links. Do make sure I update and add yours, this typically takes me a week. If I forget keep telling me until I do it!
June 20, 2007
Anonymous said…
Hmm...None of the above...
June 21, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
None of the above?! Hmmm. (Puts on bifocals for closer look.) There are two exceptions to the list: baldness and the possession of two X chromosomes. If you're bald, well, baldness can be caused by an excess in testosterone. So, according to the guidelines stated herein, those who find themselves to be off-the-chart are either super Men or Women. Or jobless.
June 21, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
R2K, you've got a cool Micro Images blog at http://microimage.blogspot.com. Photos taken under a microscope are nifty!

I can tell by your personal icon that yours is the classic Hollywood story: Tender photographer hidden behind scary skull monster.
June 21, 2007
imwithsully said…
Don't you just love it when you come across something so random. Does it mean that all the rest have a combover or worse? Fun stuff.
June 22, 2007
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