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February 18, 2008

What Not To Say On The First Date

  • “I am wearing sacred underwear.”

  • “Honey, you’re in for a real treat tonight: I’m a beekeeper!”

  • “Thank you, thank you! Now, for my next fart I’ll take requests. You in the big diamonds, at the back table there?”

  • “I’m bilingual: I speak Klingon. nuqDaq yuch Dapol?”

  • “I love cats. You can’t beat a calico kitten for flavor.”

  • “Shush, I’m texting!”

  • “Let me check with my mommy.”

  • “Ooh, the laxative just kicked in.”

  • “This isn’t a date.”

  • “Thou yeasty common-kissing barnacle! Sorry, but I suffer from Shakespearean Tourette’s. Do you like seafood?”

3 comments:

Flashtrigger said...

The sixth one caught me off-guard and I laughed out loud in public. Now I look like a freak, thanks.
Love the blog...I needed to laugh. Gonna have to post a link to it from mine, now.

P.L. Frederick said...

Yay, I made a freak! That's the most productive thing I've done in a long while. Hee hee! Your comment made my day!

P.L. Frederick said...

By the by, that “This isn’t a date” line? Used it on my spouse, way before he achieved spouseship. I really do wish I had not.

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©2009 P.L. Frederick. Some rights reserved. The part of this work created by P.L. Frederick is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. All other copyrights owned by their respective owners.