Small & Big Second Birthday

Welcome! The Small & Big blog, born August 16, 2006, officially turns 2-years-old today. (If you came by private dirigible, there are still a couple hangers available out back.)

“Do, do come in. I am tickled pink that you stopped in for my little soiree. Tickled! I shall be accepting mementos for the auspicious occasion in the drawing room. In here. Oh, why, you needn’t have gone to the trouble. Pepper, please place this delicately atop the pile. More to the left. Little more. Too far. Back, back. STOP. Just there, yes. Close enough.

“Now, should you become misplaced during the celebration keep a lookout for the ‘You Are Here’ kiosk. There is ballroom dancing out the hall. Mr Gates is offering tutorials. If you have the opportunity, do catch up with him. He now owns rights to the 19th Century. Do not wear a black veil or stovetop hat without proper licensing! Ah hah ha. Of course people like us needn’t concern ourselves with infringements. Make yourself comfy, dear. My domain is your domain. Drink? Pepper, get me another Macallan. Everyone here is like family to me. After all, we are all captains of industry: cloud merchants, Jell-o architects, high-end railroad jewelers, et cetera. Tad here pioneered the solid-24k railroad track, didn’t you, golden boy? Ah hah ha. Mary-Kate and her Siamese twin Ashley there are heavily into baby frogs. Where is my drink? Their people are squeezing an eco-friendly oil out of the critters. (Pssst, invest now.) Pepper, no, no, no! We do not place ice cubes in my single malt. Heaving sigh.

“Presto—you have had introductions to him, yes? The tall man in the corner? Famously into frosting art he is. Presto, over here! Hovers his Versace ’copter for hours and hours, slathering frosting over the city skyscrapers. Heavily influenced by Christo. Good man. Presto, tell my friend here the story of your yellow palette—how you came to see pink frosting as too derivative of Christo’s work. Before I leave you in Presto’s capable hands (a hostess’s mingling is never done) promise me that you will not leave the compound without first seeing what Presto has done with the birthday cake. My, oh my. He’s—why—he—oh my—it’s beyond me what he has done, for he has put frosting atop the frosting! Yes, frosting! ...I know. Pure genius—

“What now, Pepper? The fire for the roasted boar requires more mahogany and rain-forest teak? For Pete’s sake, Pepper, are you even aware that my baby’s turning two today? Burn the chairs. The good chairs.”

Comments

Flashtrigger said…
Happy birthday!
Mmm, boar...
P.L. Frederick said…
Thank you. You are so kind, Flashtrigger. I trust you had a nice time at the shindig? You appeared to be enjoying the inflatable-bouncy-moonwalk-jumping thing. Took three weeks for the servants to blow up, but it was worth it. Only natural human air for my treasured guests!

Popular posts from this blog

Shovel Trouble

15 Albums That Changed My Life, Not That You Asked

You're On My Mind, For $1,000