World Selects Chosen Pole, Loses Chosen Pole
Research—good, hard, unquenchable research—is fastidiously performed by Scientists™. And Scientists occasionally uncover a fact so amazing, so revolutionary, that it becomes impossible thereafter to imagine life ever having existed without said fact. That’s a fact. For instance, do you remember life before Pythagoras came up with his famous a²+b²=c² Theorem in the 500 B.C.s? Didn’t think so. This is another such moment.
During March of 2007, during a light drizzling rain, Small & Big released a polling questionnaire unto the world. Earth. And, like many of our other ventures, we report that it was a raging success. Raging! Dozens of people crawled, groped, and otherwise dropped everything to get at it. As many as 24 souls in total answered one simple yet profound inquiry, namely: “What’s your favorite pole?” The choices were: A) fishing pole; B) flag pole; C) magnetic pole; D) North Pole (polar bears); E) polecats; F) politeness; G) public opinion polls; H) South Pole (penguins); I) Polish folk; and J) This is dumb. People could vote as many times as they liked. And many did. We ourselves voted six times, if we correctly recall. Unfortunately, the good news ends here.
On a warm summer day in 2007, around 3 o’clock, said revolutionary results were misplaced. The Scientists were livid. (Lucky for us their pocket protectors are ineffectual at offense.) We’ve searched high and low, in and out, back and forth, up and down, young and the restless. All to no avail. If you know their whereabouts or have seen them—they’re questionable and lettery—please contact Small & Big immediately. Gratuities accepted.
During March of 2007, during a light drizzling rain, Small & Big released a polling questionnaire unto the world. Earth. And, like many of our other ventures, we report that it was a raging success. Raging! Dozens of people crawled, groped, and otherwise dropped everything to get at it. As many as 24 souls in total answered one simple yet profound inquiry, namely: “What’s your favorite pole?” The choices were: A) fishing pole; B) flag pole; C) magnetic pole; D) North Pole (polar bears); E) polecats; F) politeness; G) public opinion polls; H) South Pole (penguins); I) Polish folk; and J) This is dumb. People could vote as many times as they liked. And many did. We ourselves voted six times, if we correctly recall. Unfortunately, the good news ends here.
On a warm summer day in 2007, around 3 o’clock, said revolutionary results were misplaced. The Scientists were livid. (Lucky for us their pocket protectors are ineffectual at offense.) We’ve searched high and low, in and out, back and forth, up and down, young and the restless. All to no avail. If you know their whereabouts or have seen them—they’re questionable and lettery—please contact Small & Big immediately. Gratuities accepted.
Comments
Perchance, did you vote in the aforementioned Pole Poll? Do you recall how your vote was cast? Pick any letter between A and J. I'm trying to cobble things back together here.