There Is One Disturbing Element To This Pumpkin Growing Business

The Small and Big Amiglia-maticThe pamphlet says here that the vines “will take over your garden and yard” and “grow 40-50 feet.” Forty to fifty feet? That’s like raising a giant squid. The hard way. Because, according to my calculations:

Cost of three giant pumpkin seeds: $5.

Cost of tractor and fork-lift attachment to handle pumpkin: $20,000.

Giant pumpkin rotting in my front yard, its tendrils clinging to my home, grasping through my windows: priceless.

Comments

Dave said…
Why don't you just buy a giant oven. Bake it till it goes rock hard and then live in it.

You really didn't think this through, did you? Hmmm?
October 10, 2008
P.L. Frederick said…
Hm, you have something there, Dave. $20,005 for a new house is a good deal. I could maybe grow a barn and an in-law apartment out back, too.
October 11, 2008
Dave said…
That’s it! Now you’ve got it. Big and Small ways to use up all the pumpkins.

The Empire State Pumpkin.

The Eiffel Pumpkin

The Royal Opera Pumpkin.

The Taj Mahpumkin

You’re going to be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
October 11, 2008
P.L. Frederick said…
Taj Mahpumpkin! Hah ha ha! Dave, you give so many fun ideas for future posts. "Taj Mahpumpkin!"
October 12, 2008
Dave said…
LMAO. I never thought my utter stupidity would come in useful for anything.

And of course I meant the Sydney Opera Pumpkin. Not the Royal Opera Pumpkin (too vague as a reference) :)

I just love your sense of humour. You crack me up.
October 12, 2008
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