Bottled Disappointment

Fart Jar
Once, at elementary school age, my brother farted into a mason jar and bottled it up tight. We could only hold off opening it for a couple hours but, sadly, there was no stink in it. Grandma suggested we didn’t seal it off quick enough. My brother was so disappointed he never ever farted into a jar again.

Comments

Alan said…
Another young scientist! I did a similar thing in my youth -- tried to save smoke in a jar. No success.
Wish I'd thought of saving farts.

But it was in college that I learned the most amazing thing to do with farts... why, you light them, of course! That's right, they're flammable!

I had a frat brother who once did three on one match. Is that control, or what?

Lots of talented people in that school...
May 01, 2009
P.L. Frederick said…
Wow, three? That flammable thing sounds like it could dangerously backfire, could blow up in one’s face. Or someplace worse. But I have admiration for those who persevere over fire. He probably got special training because of his college major, huh? Or, like you suggest, maybe he was just talented, just born with that fart-lighting skill, just born with a silver fart in his mouth. Heh heh.
May 01, 2009
Anonymous said…
My dad learned to do that in the Navy. Light farts, I mean, so Mom said. I never saw it. I feel deprived.
Did your brother ever recover from his disappointment?

Oh, I just thought of a great experiment, though it would probably require a talented farter, like Alan's frat bro.
First you make a "valve" in the top of your Mason jar, by stabbing it with an ice pick, then cover the hole with a small piece of tape. Capture a number of farts(this is where the talent comes in) and if you successfully cap 'em off(remember Grandma's suggestion!), you can then pull off the tape, light the escaping stream and presto! You gotta lamp!

There's probably some physics needs to be cyphered in here somewhere, you know, to keep from blowin' up real good, and I'm short on that(don't have any matches, either), but it could work, couldn't it?
May 30, 2009
P.L. Frederick said…
A., no, my bro hasn't yet recovered. Sigh. It's high time for therapy for he sorely needs to get back on that horse. The family needs closure.

Your experiment/idea is genius! Is there some brave, noble soul out there who would test this method and report back?

Also, you've spurred another good idea. You know how when you sneeze people say, "bless you" and when you burp you say, "pardon me" and when you fall you say, "oops" or "sh-t"? Well, we're lacking that in the Fart Department. So. I propose that any gas passed here on out (hah!), by anyone, is accompanied by "presto!"

Presto!
May 31, 2009
Anonymous said…
Brilliant! Presto! 'Cept instead of a rabbit out of a hat...! ;-)
May 31, 2009
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