Presto, A Passing Politeness

The Small and Big Amiglia-maticYou know how when someone belches they say, “Pardon me” and when they fall they say, “Oops!” or some non-repeatable phrase? Well we’re lacking that in the Fart Department. When we pass gas we say nothing. Sure, beforehand there may be a “Pull my finger” but not afterward. Nosirree. Nope, afterward we get nothing. So... From here on out I propose that any gas passed by anyone of any age, religion, or pant size on Earth is heretofore accompanied by “Presto!”

Presto, as in “Tah-dah! Look what I did.”

Presto. It could change the world.

Comments

Rick Rockhill said…
How ghastly (sorry to be punny)
May 22, 2010
P.L. Frederick said…
Punny is the only way to live.
May 24, 2010
Johnny Cat said…
And if you've recently eaten pesto, you can say, "Presto, pesto!"
May 25, 2010
Bill White said…
I still like shouting, "BINGO!"
May 29, 2010
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You're On My Mind, For $1,000

Image
It has not escaped me that I have a somewhat profuse forehead. Or rather, a fivehead. The “high forehead” was thought to be much attractive in the 15th through 16th centuries, when wealthy gentleladies plucked their way to highbrowed beauty. Admirers took note of the greater brainpan and refined intelligence. (“My, my. Look at thee fo’ead on that one. Hubba hubba.”) Alas, today we no longer live in the Middle Ages, those pox-filled days of easy beauty. Those of us left behind, showing proof of high intelligence as we do, need to make do. So.... One day, a dame with a dome has a bright idea: Advertising Revenue. Then an even better, more refined idea: But a genius idea needs geniuses to buy into it. That’s where you come in. For example, say you’re an overpaid advertising executive. You’re gearing up to promote a dentist, electronics giant, and/or hemorrhoid creme. Or household goods and Sea-Monkeys. I don’t need to explain to you the power of the visual medium. So, without further ado.
Read more

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more