Presto, A Passing Politeness

The Small and Big Amiglia-maticYou know how when someone belches they say, “Pardon me” and when they fall they say, “Oops!” or some non-repeatable phrase? Well we’re lacking that in the Fart Department. When we pass gas we say nothing. Sure, beforehand there may be a “Pull my finger” but not afterward. Nosirree. Nope, afterward we get nothing. So... From here on out I propose that any gas passed by anyone of any age, religion, or pant size on Earth is heretofore accompanied by “Presto!”

Presto, as in “Tah-dah! Look what I did.”

Presto. It could change the world.

Comments

Rick Rockhill said…
How ghastly (sorry to be punny)
May 22, 2010
P.L. Frederick said…
Punny is the only way to live.
May 24, 2010
Johnny Cat said…
And if you've recently eaten pesto, you can say, "Presto, pesto!"
May 25, 2010
Bill White said…
I still like shouting, "BINGO!"
May 29, 2010
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more

Illustration Friday: Hide

Image
Maurice’s cunning helped him evade that hungry field sparrow, and in doing so he discovered something new: his special affinity for flowers. He decided to go for it. He attained his Master’s Degree in floral arrangement from Chicago School of Flower Design. Today Maurice owns and manages a successful retail floral operation behind the shed there, to the left of the plastic green leprechaun. This is my drawing for the Illustration Friday ( IF website ) assignment, this time to illustrate "Hide". Click it for a bigger version.
Read more

Beyond MBA: Business Tips From The Memogenda

Image
Are you a mover and a shaker? A decider? Do you put the “man” in “ man agement” (and in “wo man ”)? Duh, or you wouldn’t be here today. Now that we’ve finished our three-hour vodka martini luncheon, I’d like to share something important with you. It’s about the Memogenda on your steel gray decision-making desk. The spiral notebook in embossed Leathertex paper. I don’t care what Irish illuminated manuscript calligraphers say, paper is so much easier to write on than dead animal skins. And the Book of Kells could have cut off a hundred years if those monks had Bics. ( At left: Unhappy monks. ) That’s but one reason why I so love my Memogenda ( at right ), and consult it for many a critical business decision. The system is simple to “manage” (har har!) and, if you open to Page 1, you’ll see the necessary instructions. I shan’t go over them. Do it yourself: thanks to the unique Memogenda system...
Read more