Best User Agreement Legalese Award Goes To...

The MINI Cooper website. Here’s the legalese you agree to when you sign up:
I also agree to avoid ruts.

And I agree to change my locker combination to include the numbers 1964 (the year we won our first Monte Carlo rally).

I agree to chase squirrels around the park every now and then and giggle like a madman while doing it.

I agree to be more adventurous and try to avoid homogenized restaurant chains.

I agree to name my first-born Cooper.

I agree to bare the soles of my feet to the earth and feel grass, sand, stones, and streams.

I agree to watch the movie “The Italian Job” as soon as I can.

I agree to at least think strongly about learning to play a musical instrument.

I agree to consider painting the roof of my house in contrasting colors.
There is no actual award for this.

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