Here’s me cartoon for the August issue of the Pet Gazette. It looks a bit different than the previous because — exciting news coming up! — it’s in my New Style. My style which is new.
Hey. You know how it snowed? And there was snow on your car? Well I’ve got a surprise for you. It‘s not any more! I know. Let’s jump up and down. How’d the magic happen, right? Well I went outside in the cold and cleaned it off. You're very welcome, my pleasure, no trouble at all. I almost enjoyed being outside in the fresh air. Anything for you. Oh, by the way. Just a small thing. In the future, maybe after the rainy season, you may see a tiny bit of rust. Like a line of it here and there. Mostly on top of the car but also on the hood and trunk areas. Roughly where snow would be if your good friend here hadn’t cleaned it off wayyyy back in winter. Brrrrrrr, right? Gosh it‘s cold. From the shovel scratches, silly. You shovel snow, you don’t kiss it away. I was shoveling the sidewalk and the next thing you know I was being helpful to you. Steel-bladed shovels work great! Yeah, let’s go see how great it looks. Look there. Isn’t that friendly, that one almost says “Hi!”
Soundtrack to Disney’s feature length animation, “101 Dalmations,” played on my red portable record player/briefcase — Cruella De Vil rocked. The chorus sings how she made her husband take her last name. What a woman! Too bad about her puppy-skin coat fetish. (And that fat ugly husband.) Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life” — For a third grader who enjoyed singing herself to sleep with sad tunes like “Leaving On a Jet Plane” and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” this was I-T, in feathered hair. My younger brother’s musical selections — These included classics by Donald Duck, Alvin & the Chipmunks, and Wonder Woman’s theme song. I admired his musical maturity and confidence, especially with the 8-track tapes. Cory Hart, “Boy In the Box” — He wore sunglasses at night. ABC, “How To Be a Zillionaire” — How do I? That K-Tel one with “My Boyfriend’s Back,” “Leader of the Pack,” and “It’s My Party (and I’ll Cry If I Want To)” on it — I find my niche! Alas, I was born 20 years too lat
Why does a bee sting? For the answer you gotta go straight to the stinger. So directly I go, to the honey bee on the red clover there. She looks sharp. “Um,” I say, absentmindedly rubbing the stinging lump on my backside. “Hello, little honeybee...?” “Bzzz,” she says through her fuzzy brown body. The little bee methodically works the field clover, chubby stripes balanced on dark, graceful toetips. Honeybees pick up sound vibrations through sensitive tapered feet; feet made for dancing and hard manual labor. “Good day to you, you ground-bound jumbo.” “Hey.” “Who has zee stinger?” the bee asks, padding across the purpley long-shag clover carpet. I am careful not to stare at her round brown backside; it might signal unhealthy interest. Politeness is in my interest. I breathe in the sweetness of warm clover, listening to the hum of insects happily working. Beneath my bare feet tender green leaves and stems percolate up the dirt’s moist humidity. For this quest why did I not wear s
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New Style...exciting news coming up...do tell!