Gravy Boat Lighthouse [video]

This invention is a really big help for a very, very, very, very small percentage of Americans. Perfect for family get-togethers. From Conan O'Brien.

Happy Thanksgiving

A special shout-out to awesome cartoonist and illustrator Chris Sabatino for the idear, as they say in Boston. Check out Chris's blog here and a selection of his h-i-larious books below, for the young and the young-at-heart (that's you!).

Win A Free "Funny Times" Subscription

Is there any more beautiful word in the English language than "free"? Enter my contest and you could yuck it up 12 times a year with a FREE 1-year subscription (a $25 value) to the cartoon- and humor-filled Funny Times newspaper (funnytimes.com). After you've gotten your chuckles galore this newspaper can be used for absorbing puppy piddle and for sending flies on to their next life. Also counts as "brown" in your composter.

CONTEST RULES: You must have a U.S. mailing address (I cannot send the subscription overseas because I am a cheapskate). You must be able to post stuff to a blog or website. You must have no superhuman powers because that's cheating.

This contest puts the "test" in "contest", especially since I don't know most of the answers. Ready? Here goes. Please answer each of the following:

1. What body part is required when measuring one's wrist?
2. What is Small & Big's preferred eating utensil?
3. Is "O" a letter, a hug, or a kiss?
4. Complete this sentence: Stephen Colbert is to hairless Sphynx cat as peanut butter is to ______.
5. How many fingers am I holding up?

And now for the optional extra credit portion which doubles your chance of winning:

6. Write a 6-word essay on turtles.

Now for the instructions.

CONTEST INSTRUCTIONS: 1) Post your answers on your site; include a blurb about Small & Big (for or against); include a link to Small & Big's home page at http://smallandbig.blogspot.com. 3) Come back here (to http://smallandbig.blogspot.com/2010/11/win-free-funny-times-subscription.html) and use the comments to tell me you did that and also to give me the direct link to the answers on your site or blog.

One winner will be chosen at random from all complete entries. I hope it's you. If you win I'll contact you to get your U.S. mailing address. (BUT, do not give personal contact information in your comment unless you're okay with it being public news. Instead, let me track you down through contact info listed on your site.) Correctly answer the extra credit portion and your chance of winning doubles. Make me laugh and it triples. Contest ends December 15th, 2010. Good luck.

Rules subject to change by whim, but the contest and prize are for real.

Home For The Holiday

Here’s my November cartoon for the Pet Gazette. Here's another. Happy Thanksgiving. May your zipper remain strong and your buttons intact.

I Solve All The Non-Voting Problems

Click here for the solution. You're welcome.