Win A Free "Funny Times" Subscription

Is there any more beautiful word in the English language than "free"? Enter my contest and you could yuck it up 12 times a year with a FREE 1-year subscription (a $25 value) to the cartoon- and humor-filled Funny Times newspaper (funnytimes.com). After you've gotten your chuckles galore this newspaper can be used for absorbing puppy piddle and for sending flies on to their next life. Also counts as "brown" in your composter.

CONTEST RULES: You must have a U.S. mailing address (I cannot send the subscription overseas because I am a cheapskate). You must be able to post stuff to a blog or website. You must have no superhuman powers because that's cheating.

This contest puts the "test" in "contest", especially since I don't know most of the answers. Ready? Here goes. Please answer each of the following:
  1. What body part is required when measuring one's wrist?
  2. What is Small & Big's preferred eating utensil?
  3. Is "O" a letter, a hug, or a kiss?
  4. Complete this sentence: Stephen Colbert is to hairless Sphynx cat as peanut butter is to ______.
  5. How many fingers am I holding up?
And now for the optional extra credit portion which doubles your chance of winning:
  1. Write a 6-word essay on turtles.
Now for the instructions.

CONTEST INSTRUCTIONS: 1) Post your answers on your site; include a blurb about Small & Big (for or against); include a link to Small & Big's home page at http://smallandbig.blogspot.com. 3) Come back here (to http://smallandbig.blogspot.com/2010/11/win-free-funny-times-subscription.html) and use the comments to tell me you did that and also to give me the direct link to the answers on your site or blog.

One winner will be chosen at random from all complete entries. I hope it's you. If you win I'll contact you to get your U.S. mailing address. (BUT, do not give personal contact information in your comment unless you're okay with it being public news. Instead, let me track you down through contact info listed on your site.) Correctly answer the extra credit portion and your chance of winning doubles. Make me laugh and it triples. Contest ends December 15th, 2010. Good luck.

Rules subject to change by whim, but the contest and prize are for real.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'll try(not too hard) to play, but I gotta go look something up first.
November 28, 2010
P.L. Frederick said…
Awesome, please do! At this specific moment in time your chance of winning would be 100%.
November 29, 2010
Anonymous said…
nice, love this blog, how do I subscribe
December 09, 2010
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

15 Albums That Changed My Life, Not That You Asked

Soundtrack to Disney’s feature length animation, “101 Dalmations,” played on my red portable record player/briefcase — Cruella De Vil rocked. The chorus sings how she made her husband take her last name. What a woman! Too bad about her puppy-skin coat fetish. (And that fat ugly husband.) Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life” — For a third grader who enjoyed singing herself to sleep with sad tunes like “Leaving On a Jet Plane” and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” this was I-T, in feathered hair. My younger brother’s musical selections — These included classics by Donald Duck, Alvin & the Chipmunks, and Wonder Woman’s theme song. I admired his musical maturity and confidence, especially with the 8-track tapes. Cory Hart, “Boy In the Box” — He wore sunglasses at night. ABC, “How To Be a Zillionaire” — How do I? That K-Tel one with “My Boyfriend’s Back,” “Leader of the Pack,” and “It’s My Party (and I’ll Cry If I Want To)” on it — I find my niche! Alas, I was born 20 years too lat
Read more

Shovel Trouble

Hey. You know how it snowed? And there was snow on your car? Well I’ve got a surprise for you. It‘s not any more! I know. Let’s jump up and down. How’d the magic happen, right? Well I went outside in the cold and cleaned it off. You're very welcome, my pleasure, no trouble at all. I almost enjoyed being outside in the fresh air. Anything for you. Oh, by the way. Just a small thing. In the future, maybe after the rainy season, you may see a tiny bit of rust. Like a line of it here and there. Mostly on top of the car but also on the hood and trunk areas. Roughly where snow would be if your good friend here hadn’t cleaned it off wayyyy back in winter. Brrrrrrr, right? Gosh it‘s cold. From the shovel scratches, silly. You shovel snow, you don’t kiss it away. I was shoveling the sidewalk and the next thing you know I was being helpful to you. Steel-bladed shovels work great! Yeah, let’s go see how great it looks. Look there. Isn’t that friendly, that one almost says “Hi!”
Read more

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more