Separated At Birth? Stephen Colbert And My Cat

Stephen Colbert     Sphynx cat named Orpheus
Editor's note: Please read the following carefully as the knowledge expressed herein could some day save you from losing some expensive bet.

People oft ask me about my bald Sphynx cat (related post) and the traits he shares with Mr. Colbert, esteemed host of The Colbert Report (related post). Well, they don't actually. But if the topic ever does pop up I want to be prepared. Here goes:
  • Youngest of a litter of 11
  • Both on TV, although cat actually on TV
  • Presence in room, kennel, White House compels others to gape
  • Dislike of grizzly bears
  • In-your-face manliness, especially from behind
  • Expressive paws
  • Labeled Caucasian by outside world
  • Goes after prey with patience of lioness, speed of cheetah
  • Hairdo, if cat had hair (or fur)
  • Book knowledge, facts absorbed by sitting on
  • Enjoys nailing guests
  • Climbs to great heights, afraid to come down
  • Fed by higher being, with can opener
  • Riveted by Truth, and pen cap under desk
Image of Mr. Colbert (he's the one wearing glasses) from ComedyCentral. Photos not to scale.

Comments

P.L. Frederick said…
The above is certified truth, more than two years later. That's what you get reading Small & Big, people: Truth. Fleas, sometimes too. And constipation. Rabies. Common cold. Hangnails. An allergy to beef tea. Consumption tax. Ring around the collar. Sex appeal. Ear wax. Space suits. Eyebrows.
September 12, 2008
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