My Joke Collection (#4)

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
—Roseanne Barr (her blog)

Alas, humanity still anxiously awaits the perfection of the all-terrain riding vacuum cleaner.

This joke is about opposites: housework versus yardwork, indoors versus out, traditional female versus male roles, clean versus dirty, drudgery versus dominion, walking versus riding. It's about honesty, laziness, science, the working class, saleability, and dreams. Glorious dreams. Dreams that sweep me off my feet. That's why this joke here is in the collection. We're eloping. We're riding off into the squeaky clean sunset on a motorized marvel with the Sears logo.

Click here for more info about this joke collection thing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more

Illustration Friday: Hide

Image
Maurice’s cunning helped him evade that hungry field sparrow, and in doing so he discovered something new: his special affinity for flowers. He decided to go for it. He attained his Master’s Degree in floral arrangement from Chicago School of Flower Design. Today Maurice owns and manages a successful retail floral operation behind the shed there, to the left of the plastic green leprechaun. This is my drawing for the Illustration Friday ( IF website ) assignment, this time to illustrate "Hide". Click it for a bigger version.
Read more

Occupations I'd Like To Have For 24 Hours

Wrecking Ball Operator Cotton Candy / Stratocumulus Cloud Sequoia Tree Hobo Big Time Philanthropist Mosquito Yahweh Cross Country Big Rig Driver Keystone Cop Not-Allergic-To-Poison-Ivy Person Megaballs Lottery Winner Time Machine Operator Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Wintering In The Yucatan Carnie Barker Dutchess
Read more