My Joke Collection (#12)

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
—Mark Twain, a.k.a. Samuel Clemens (Wikipedia)

What is the relationship between success in life and success in the stomach? I don't have the foggiest idea. That's the first thing I like about Marky Mark's sentence. The other is the thought of my macaroni punching my carrots while both are being smothered in olive oil. A cowardly gulp of water lurks in the esophagus, waiting to duke it out with the winner. Oil and water just don't mix.

I got $5 riding on the oil. Literally, because I can really build up some steam in the eating department and somebody made the mistake of dropping a fiver atop my lunch. They wouldn't wait to get their money back out so I kind of made a profit.

Click here for more info about this joke collection thing.

Comments

Rick Rockhill said…
hey very funny stuff here...found myself reading more and more.

wanna trade links to e/o blogs?

www.rickrockhill.blogspot.com
February 17, 2007
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anizo 100% Reality Mind

Image
“Anizo 100% Reality Mind.” What this means, I have no idea. A friend found it living in a vending machine on the street in China and brought it back to Boston for me. The one-inch tall yellow plastic guy (I think it’s a he) has a smile, a blue tear, a pair of hand holes, a growth atop his head pierced clean through, and, on his backside, a man getting squeezed between two lines that I hope do not represent butt cheeks. The warning printed on the paper insert commands, “Do not use as lifeguard equipment.” Anizo and I, we’re inseparable. Anizo 100% Reality Mind!
Read more

Illustration Friday: Hide

Image
Maurice’s cunning helped him evade that hungry field sparrow, and in doing so he discovered something new: his special affinity for flowers. He decided to go for it. He attained his Master’s Degree in floral arrangement from Chicago School of Flower Design. Today Maurice owns and manages a successful retail floral operation behind the shed there, to the left of the plastic green leprechaun. This is my drawing for the Illustration Friday ( IF website ) assignment, this time to illustrate "Hide". Click it for a bigger version.
Read more

Occupations I'd Like To Have For 24 Hours

Wrecking Ball Operator Cotton Candy / Stratocumulus Cloud Sequoia Tree Hobo Big Time Philanthropist Mosquito Yahweh Cross Country Big Rig Driver Keystone Cop Not-Allergic-To-Poison-Ivy Person Megaballs Lottery Winner Time Machine Operator Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Wintering In The Yucatan Carnie Barker Dutchess
Read more