Mrs. Malaprop's Affliction: Part III

Malaprop
  1. An invisible dog fence? I'll believe it when I see it.

  2. Free refills, 75¢

  3. The hotshot hitter didn't win Rookie of the Year this year either.

  4. He's single minded about his multiple personalities.

  5. The new yoga instructor said, "Watch me and keep your eyes closed."

  6. If we were married we'd be divorced.

  7. My doctor says this medicine is 100% effective, except for the side effects.

  8. My favorite color is 8.

  9. Next time I order a new dish, first I'm gonna make sure I like it.

  10. Relax!

  11. I don't need money. I have a credit card.

  12. "We welcome your opinions—just keep them to yourself."

  13. As a janitor she possessed great skill: she could sweep the rug under the floor. As a mayor too.

  14. Silence speaks to me.

  15. "Work, work, work. That's all you ever are."

  16. The grass is always greener under the money.

  17. You look tired. Have you been sleeping all day?

  18. His mental focus is a blur.

  19. Overheard at the family picnic: "This cake is awful. Make my next slice smaller."

  20. If you see my earring, go ahead and answer it.

  21. Mr. Potter was an honest cheater.

  22. I'm the same as everybody else: each morning I put my shirt on one leg at a time.

  23. "Answer me when I tell you to keep quiet!"
This is the final part of this malapropism assignment. With this one I had to use the correct word but pair it with the wrong definition. My brain found this exercise really really-really, reallyreally, really—really—really really, really difficult. Really. Maybe not all of them are even malapropisms. But that's what practice is for, eh?

For the backstory on why I'm doing this, read my previous post, I Can Learn To Be Funny?

Comments

imwithsully said…
I think I have said #23 to Liam before. What a great assignment! I think you have done a great job!
October 13, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
Thanks!

Parents get the best lines, don't they? Hee hee!

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big
October 13, 2007
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