One Person's Idiom Is Another Person's Straight-Line

  1. I've got a memory like an elephant. This also explains my big painted toenails.

  2. "Gimme a break! A big break," yelled the hotshot young orthopedist.

  3. I hear that drinking like a camel increases your chances of being humped.

  4. Think outside the box: avoid allergies to cardboard.

  5. In his job he wears many hats. He enjoys it though; it hides the bald spots.

  6. Don't cry over spilt milk, unless it's breast milk.

  7. Whoever said "life is not fair" probably didn't enjoy carnivals much either.

  8. I may be over the hill but at least I'm not under arrest.

  9. If there's no such thing as a free lunch, who's enslaving them all?

  10. Who would want a bee in their bonnet? Bonnets are ugly.

  11. A picture is worth a thousand words but I'm tired of reading.

  12. Remember, anyone claiming to be as busy as a bee has 29,000 assistants.

  13. Wow, that man is a tall drink of water! Luckily, my doctor recommends 8 a day.

  14. She didn't just raise Hell, she gave it an allowance and sent it to college.

  15. Judging by my bank account, running a rabbit farm is only hare raising.

  16. Time is money. If that's true, spend it wisely. Ponder this: a one-to-one exchange rate is $24 a day, tops.

  17. Jake wears his heart on his sleeve, and his butt on his head.

  18. I'm dumber than a doorknob, but not dumber than a door without a doorknob.

  19. My boss at the orange juice factory wants everything to run like clockwork. Her name for this new policy? Clockwork Orange.

  20. I do solemly swear. I also swear just for the fun of it!

For this one I took common phrases and turned 'em into amusements. Tried to, anyway. For the backstory on why I'm doing this, read my previous post, I Can Learn To Be Funny?

Comments

Sid Leavitt said…
Dear P.L. Frederick:

My compliments on your website, which I found while randomly surfing the Internet. I administer a website, Readersandwritersblog.com, that promotes good writing, and I'd like to add a link to your site on our blogroll.

When we add a site to our blogroll, I write a post about that site explaining what I like about it. Before posting, I generally send the author a tentative version of what the entry about the site will say so that the author can point out any factual or contextual errors I have made. (I don't seek additional information, just a heads-up on any errors.) However, I can find no email address for you.

If you will email me at sidleavitt@yahoo.com, I'd be glad to send you an advance copy of our entry.

I plan the post and the blogroll addition for Nov. 22. If I don't hear from you before then, best regards.

Sid Leavitt
November 16, 2007
Rick Rockhill said…
hee hee great list...love that~ The tall drink of water is one I never understood, but always like
November 18, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
Hello, Mr. Sid. Great! You shall be hearing from me, toot-sweet.

Hi, PSS. It is a weird saying. The interpretation that someone smarter than me gave was that, "that man (woman) is a tall drink of water" is like saying "that man (woman) is just what I need".

Now I'm thirsty.

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big
November 19, 2007
Rick Rockhill said…
PL- just wanted to swing by and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!
-Rick
November 22, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
Happy T-Day to you too, Savant!

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big
November 22, 2007
Anonymous said…
Did you write these? They're incredibly clever. This is my kind of humor!
November 23, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
Kevin, I like your style. You swoop in and leave a compliment. For this, I award you today's Favoritist Reader O' the Day. Congratulations! And FYI, you could win again, if you know what I mean.

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big
November 23, 2007
P.L. Frederick said…
And yes, yes I did write these meself. (If you didn't like 'em that'd be a different story.) They're the direct result of the Comedy Writing Workbook by Gene Perret. The full story's at I Can Learn To Be Funny?

P.L. Frederick
SMALL & big
November 23, 2007
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