Part 3: Your Dog Would Love You Even More If You Were Kitty-Litter Morsels

At part three, we’re in the meat of this five-part exposé on canines, love, and yuck.

Yes, of course, your dog loves you from the bottom of her heart. But your dog loves eating the unmentionable from the tip of her wet nose and soft tongue to the bottom of her steel-lined stomach, on through the rest of the plumbing, to that exit point* where her waggly tail attaches. Which love is more far reaching? Which love doesn’t drag her to the vet or slop her with soap? Which love involves digging for pirate treasure? Exactly. It is your lot in life to be number two to number two.

* The part cartoonists draw with an X or an O, depending on their preference for kisses, hugs, or Tic-Tac-Toe moves.

Or is it? Stay tuned for the facts about this troublesome issue tomorrow, in part 4.

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