For Your Sensual Buddhist Pleasure
The following was taken from the 124th sutta of the 1,417 page book “The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha: A Translation of the Majjhima Nikaya” by Bhikkhu Nanomoli and Bhikkhu Bodhi and helpful commentary by me. Names below have been changed to protect privacy.
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THUS HAVE I HEARD. On one occasion the venerable Bubba was living in Rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels’ Sanctuary. (Ooh, squirrels!)
Then Ace, a former companion of the venerable Bubba in his lay life, went to the venerable Bubba and exchanged greetings with him. (“Bubba, dude, how are you?” “This morning I had a fine sit.”) When this courteous and amiable talk was finished, he sat down at one side and asked the venerable Bubba:
“Friend Bubba, how long is it since you went forth?” (“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.”)
“It is 80 years since I went forth, friend.” (“80 years. In squirrel years, 800.”)
“Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have you engaged in sexual intercourse?" (“I’ve been dying to ask about the sex.”)
“Friend Ace, you should not ask me such a question as that. You should ask me such as question as this: ‘Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have preceptions of sensual desire arisen in you?’” (“Don’t ask me about the sex.”) (“But ask me about the sex.”)
“Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have perceptions of sensual desire arisen in you?” (“I’m not giving up. I really want to know.”)
“Friend Ace, in the 80 years since I went forth I do not recall any perception of sensual desire to have ever arisen in me.” (“Over an entire 80-year period? None presently come to mind. Ooh, look, squirrel!”)
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
THUS HAVE I HEARD. On one occasion the venerable Bubba was living in Rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels’ Sanctuary. (Ooh, squirrels!)
Then Ace, a former companion of the venerable Bubba in his lay life, went to the venerable Bubba and exchanged greetings with him. (“Bubba, dude, how are you?” “This morning I had a fine sit.”) When this courteous and amiable talk was finished, he sat down at one side and asked the venerable Bubba:
“Friend Bubba, how long is it since you went forth?” (“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it.”)
“It is 80 years since I went forth, friend.” (“80 years. In squirrel years, 800.”)
“Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have you engaged in sexual intercourse?" (“I’ve been dying to ask about the sex.”)
“Friend Ace, you should not ask me such a question as that. You should ask me such as question as this: ‘Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have preceptions of sensual desire arisen in you?’” (“Don’t ask me about the sex.”) (“But ask me about the sex.”)
“Friend Bubba, in these 80 years how many times have perceptions of sensual desire arisen in you?” (“I’m not giving up. I really want to know.”)
“Friend Ace, in the 80 years since I went forth I do not recall any perception of sensual desire to have ever arisen in me.” (“Over an entire 80-year period? None presently come to mind. Ooh, look, squirrel!”)
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