Small & Big

If there’s a smokey-haze mystery between you and your Memorial Day barbecue-beach-parade, haze that sometimes smells sweet, almost like smoke from cherry wood, this is smoke from huge fires in Canada. The Gulf Stream is carrying the smoke down at least as far as Boston’s South Shore. It’s going to stay this way until the Gulf Stream changes. I thought this would be a big news item on Google , but No. I called my local friendly Fire Department phone answerer, who knew immediately what the smoke monster was. Duxbury Fire Department, 1; Google, 0. We now return to our regularly scheduled pile of ugly mushrooms:

    For years I’ve seen the book plastered on bookshelves and tables. I ignored it. After all, the cover of “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” was ugly and everybody knows you judge a book by its cover. (If we couldn’t judge a book by its cover it would be infinitely impossible, eh?) Anywho, I got a hold of the DVD from my local Library and, let me tell you, I was impressed . You can spend four years in art school at $40,000 and up or you can spend a couple of hours drawing with Betty Edwards. The tricks you’d get piecemeal in college over years, Betty distills into an hour-and-a-half DVD. Also, it’s fun. And her manner of speaking, hilarious. (Betty, you know it’s true.) Three morsels I learned: Everyone can learn to draw. Every. One. Just like everyone can learn to read. Drawing is like reading in another big way, too: it must be taught. We learn to draw from others. Why draw? Because it helps us think better. The ...

Bob Bennett And this is the second caricature ( first one ). I pushed his features a bit farther (“Push it. Unh.”), making them more outlandish, sort of a key element of caricature. I like his catapiller catipillar caterpillar eyebrows.

Bob Bennett This is my first attempt at caricaturing him. Stay tuned for the second. I know, you’re all pins and needles, huh.

Dear Company That Emailed Me With That In The Subject Line, The words “sexiest” and “pony” do not ever ever ever belong together. Ever. Sincerely, P.L. Frederick, Esq.

You know how when someone belches they say, “Pardon me” and when they fall they say, “Oops!” or some non-repeatable phrase? Well we’re lacking that in the Fart Department. When we pass gas we say nothing. Sure, beforehand there may be a “Pull my finger” but not afterward. Nosirree. Nope, afterward we get nothing. So... From here on out I propose that any gas passed by anyone of any age, religion, or pant size on Earth is heretofore accompanied by “Presto!” Presto, as in “Tah-dah! Look what I did.” Presto. It could change the world.

What mustaches cannot overcome, a dinosaur can: the Brontësaurus. Enjoy!

Chinglish is the fanciful melding of English and Chinese, and if you want a chuckle step on over to the photo gallery: A Sampling of Chinglish from the New York Times . Some believe China should embrace Chinglish as a dynamic, living language. Me and “Fragrant and Hot Marxism” concur.

This is where Zilla Dog takes me on my morning walk. I would say more but, well... the sign.

A man house. Probably a log cabin held together with belt buckles, its logs felled by rat-a-tat karate chops. And at the last supper, knee-deep in poison ivy and mustaches, men puff away at cigars and squirrel jerky paired with a nice chianti. Chianti goes with about anything, including tube socks. From a photo I snapped of what looks to be the Q&A of a children’s Christianity test, where I hope if you pass you get an A and if you fail Jesus loves you.

I was at this... And saw this... Ew. According to Undercover Brother , mayonnaise is a White People Thing. (A great movie, by the way. Except that two-women-fighting-in-the-shower scene. Where I come from it should be two half-dressed sexy men slow-mo wrestling it up in there. Different generation, I guess.) Through Baconnaise , bacon has officially reached the end of the line. Baconnaise. Bacon. And. Mayo. For those times when food just won't do, but a stable emulsion of oil, salt and vinegar stirred up with chunks of “natural flavor” will.

You may have noticed a reduction in drawings from yours truly. That’s a’cuz I’m attracting buyers for my cartoons (“buyers” being an overstatement) but, apparently, magazines and card companies prefer that they show my work first, in the form of you buying it. So... while you’re seeing less P.L. Frederick cartoon stuff here, think of it as an opportunity to see more Just Plain Suff (JPS) here. There’s a great big world of JPS and unnecessary acronyms on Small & Big, waiting just for you. Yours truly, P.L. Frederick, Esq. P.S. You’re still my favorite.

The "XX" stands for the two X chromosomes, silly. Although few and far between, cartoonists of the female persuasion do exist. My pal over at David Wasting Paper (he doesn't) interviewed some. You may enjoy reading about 'em too: Ann Telnaes - Editorial cartoonist Kim Warp - Her work is reglarly seen in The New Yorker as well as Hallmark greeting cards, TV Guide, the National Lampoon, Barron’s, Reader’s Digest Marisa Acocella Marchetto - Cartoonist for The New Yorker and Glamour magazine Sandra Bell-Lundy - “Between Friends” strip cartoonist Susan Camilleri Konar - A cartoonist and illustrator, her work has been found in The Wall Street Journal, Reader's Digest, The Saturday Evening Post, etc. Terri Libenson - “The Pajama Diaries” Rina Piccolo - "Tina's Groove" and "Six Chix," a weekly collaborative comic with five other women cartoonists Go XXs!

slas·turd  /ˈslæstərd / A guy or gal (gotta be modern!) who doesn't pay his/her child support. See: “slacker,” plus “turd,” and the “s” in the middle, we all know what that stands for. Right? Wow! It isn't every day a new word is defined. (Well maybe where you live, Dick Shunary, but not here in the real world.) A. Decker made a heroic effort against insurmountable odds, full of heart and maybe hangnails, to come up with thee perfect definition for the word slasturd . (Spielberg may option the story.) So I know you're dying to learn more about this Decker chap. He doesn't often speak to tabloids but, through fancy footwork, we have tidbits: His blog, Resonant Enigma at resonant-enigma.blogspot.com , began on February 10, 2007. The break-out post was It Is the Truth... , with wisdom from Krishnamurti to Yogi Berra. I particularly like Ghosties & Clouds & Blue Skies . There's a great description of himself (but it could about be any of us): ...

Okay, this link is just plain interestin'... Evolution Timeline: From First Life-forms to Homo Sapiens — Where one inch equals 2,160,000 years and one foot equals almost 26 million years. That’s how Steve Rose depicts it in his timeline of life on planet Earth. His timeline is drawn to scale, so if you go to that link there, you keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling right, going through the years. It gives a realistic, and precious, perspective on Time and Life, methinks. Why, we humans are mere babies! (Explains why I like mashed carrots with my bottle.) As Rose puts it, “I notice that there is an amazing life force in the Universe, and I am sure it is not limited by our inability to comprehend it... Call it whatever you like.” I call it amazing. Steve Rose is a web designer in Atlanta, Georgia. His website is simplyfull.com .

A genuine, authentic, one of... Oh I don't know what this is: What could anybody use this for? Something to perk up that dark corner of the closet that you gotta take a time machine back to 1971 and then an elevator to the 26th floor penthouse suite to access? I think I answered my own question. I like how it’s priced at $129.99. “Don’t offer it at $130; that would give consumers the illusion that it’s overly expensive.” This has been a post by Grumpy Frederick, Spring Allergy Division.

I like how, on the comments section of this YouTube video, somebody wrote: “Unlike other boring geniuses, Roz Chast is funny!!!”

Here’s my cartoon for the May issue of the Pet Gazette, in color and in black and white (below). I haven’t figured out how to make the doggie black and still show up at wee sizes. Printed in the newspaper in black and white, the whole cartoon doesn’t show up very well. I’m thinking that it might be safer to move to a simple black and white, no grays, for subsequent cartoons in the Pet Gazette . Lesson learned.

Ack. Just one more person needs to sign up for a cartooning class I wanna take. I've taken it before so I know it's awesome. If you're like me this may very well be the most enjoyable class you've ever taken, so if you wanna learn cartooning (you do!) and live in the area south of the Boston (or can helicopter in), please, please, please sign up. You can be a beginner — just as long as you know which end of a pen is the inky part. Hark!, here are thee details (and I hope to see you on Tuesday, which I will if you sign up): Cartooning for grown-ups Mat Brown, Instructor Tuesdays: 6:30pm – 8:30 pm (6 weeks, May 8 – June 15 new date ) Location: Duxbury Art Association at Ellison Center for the Arts, 64 St. George Street, Duxbury, MA (for map, see below) Designed for people who like to draw, this course teaches the conventions of cartooning, caricature, gag panels, comic strips and editorial cartoons from the perspective of a well known professional in the industry. ...