Small & Big

Focus your deep, penetrating concentration on the 1:04 through 1:16 minute mark. Near as I can piece it together Mason the tube sock puppet has this to say about Small & Big: “And __________ that rooster lady, you know, she’s got that small, big, medium, some kind of blog, ___________ cartoons, and to ______ money she, ah, likes to draw pictures of stuff, of cat litter boxes, and I saw on there a month ____ on there a toupee, some kind of Zen man.” This is historical: Small & Big’s first known video reference, and on MasonMania . The Rooster Lady detects no cuss words. (Mason previously appeared in Why You Should Keep Yourself Far, Far Away From Coffee .)

Looking for the Whole World Toilet Paper Museum and Society? Here you go.

Many say you can’t ever analyze humor because, like dissecting a frog, “You may learn a bit about it, but the thing dies in the process.” Frogwash. We do well to contemplate and understand the world around us, especially the stuff we like, especially the fun stuff. Gene Perret has a unique take on it in his book, “ How to Write & Sell Your Sense of Humor .” Gene writes: I define a sense of humor as the following three abilities: a) to see things as they are b) to recognize things as they are c) to accept things as they are. For example... When would I not be able to accept jokes about balding? First of all if I weren’t aware of it. Many people begin thinning at the back of the crown and don’t even know it’s happening. If you joke about losing their hair to these folks, they look at you as if you’re crazy. Second, if they fail to recognize they are losing their hair. I was convinced for years that by combing my hair a different ...

A Tom Swiftie is a short joke that uses a slightly different double meaning for an adverb. I found this exercise fun, and not as hard as it might seem. It’s an enjoyable way to expand your humor abilities, from Gene Perret’s book, “ How to Write & Sell Your Sense of Humor .” The one-liner must finish with a word ending in -ly , and that final word can be the real use, a new definition, or a brand new made-up word. You’ll see. Read on, and see how I spent Sunday night. What’s in bold is what I like best. “I saw a UFO,” he cried spacily. “This deodorant ain’t working,” the teen sniffed strongly. “Gasp,” his mom whispered faintly. “Students, you have 10 minutes to complete this exam,” the teacher said testily. “I got my barber’s license!” he said cuttingly. “I wonder what it’s like to race the Iditarod,” Lady said doggedly. “Cold,” purred Whiskers catti...

(Click ’em to biggerify.)     Here are a couple close-ups. If you haven’t noticed the interesting bit yet, look in the middle of the pictures below. These are frickin’ wooden shingles on flat walls. (Or whatever the technical term is for the flat vertical house bits that keep the roof up.)     Isn’t that amazing?

Today is June 18th and you know what June 18 is? June 18th is Roz Chast Day, an official holiday I declared 10 minutes ago. I direct you to her completely awesome book, “Theories of Everything” . And when I say Ev-er-y-thing it is a four-syllable word. Step right up, folks! See humor up close and personal! Look into her mirror! But... can you look away? Can you?! SEE a large selection of her cartoons on Cartoonbank.com ! READ the New York Times book review ! WITNESS a full-color sample of her likeness in a bright blue shirt! WATCH the stuff wandering feral over the Internet! (Click ’em to bigify.) Today’s Roz Chast Day brought to you by the Chast-talk in the comments section of Heavy Lifting .

(This is totally the for-real photograph BJ’s Wholesale Club used to market to me. Click here for the Grade A proof. Why, BJ’s, why?)

I wish the Reddit picture didn’t say “ get this shirt ” because that’s not part of the pondering but it does so you might as well get this shirt. When I was a kid you could rent films from the local library. Actual film, on a spool. My brother got Disney’s Dumbo and we’d watch it regular, see Dumbo take flight with those gigantic ears, and then rewind the film by watching it backwards. We’d enjoy it forward, backward, forward, backward, forward, backward. You get the idea. I’m not sure how that effected my psyche but even today I credit that experience, along with my brother and Disney, with my ability to fly.

My pain tolerance is so low that I needed a shot of novocaine to get fitted for glasses. —Woody Allen, paraphrased Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., writes in his book “Love, Medicine & Miracles&rdquo that muscle relaxation and mental anxiety cannot coexist, no matter how hard you try: There are sound scientific reasons why we call robust, unrestrained laughter “hearty.” It produces complete, relaxed action of the diaphragm, exercising the lungs, increasing the blood’s oxygen level, and gently toning the entire cardiovascular system. Norman Cousins termed it “internal jogging” and others have likened it to a deep massage... After the laughter, all the muscles are relaxed, including the heart—the pulse rate and blood pressure temporarily decline. Physiologists have found that muscle relaxation and anxiety cannot exist together, and the relaxation response after a good laugh has been measured as lasting as long as 45 minutes. Ah haha hah ha ho ho hooo...

I like how I have eyelashes. This took Bill White all of two minutes to draw, including the signature I ordered him to add, for to embarrass him. And the real thing is, like, three feet high. Seriously. Which makes my fivehead 100% to scale. Check out Bill’s blog here, at BWHITECARTOONS. It’s entertaining. And the lines he draws are so perfect they look to be done in Adobe Illustrator. But no, he’s an illustrator who doesn’t need Illustrator. No way!, you exclaim. Yes way, I say, I have seen it with my own squinty lookers.